Sisterhood Stories – A distant memory

Sisterhood Stories is our new project,  born from friendship with other female photographers which share the same love,  passion and weaknesses (and craziness too).  Together we will be sharing moments in our personal journey, every Wednesday, in a blog circle.   Follow the link to Abby Lanes Photography to continue in the circle, with love xoxo

 

A box of photographs
A chest full of her beloved rings
A bag of her favorite dresses
Bottles of perfume
Is all I have left…

 

The memory of you fades with each passing day,  and I’m terrified of losing what little of you I still possess.  I wish I could hold on to my childhood memories, but as you always knew,  I can’t recall much and now that you’re not there to tell me again and again all that made me who I am today,  I feel like I not only lost my mother but my childhood as well.  I do know that the mother I am today,  I owe it all to you.    Every minute with my sons now take a whole new meaning,  leaves a deeper imprint,  engraves a new memory in my heart.  Filling the hole left when I lost you.  I want to make memories,  not only capture them,  as photos,  as beautiful as they are,  will never replace the real moments.  They can’t capture the sweet apricot smell of my newborn boy,  they can’t make you feel the warmth of a morning hug or the softness of a kiss.

There’s this urgency now to make memories,  many of them.   And at the same time there’s this creeping anxiety that I will not recall them,  just as I can’t recall most of my childhood and the thought of it is unbearable,  that’s why I hold on so preciously to that single box of photos you left me,  and to the ones I have of my sons.   I hope they remember the mother I am and was to them,  because not remembering you,  mom,  is so painful.   I sure wish you didn’t leave that fast,  and that I had more time to make up for all my  brain has not captured at the time.   I’m sorry my memory failed you and I love you.

 

Please follow the circle by reading this post by my very talented friend Abby Lanes Photography

11 Comments on Sisterhood Stories – A distant memory

  1. Abby Lanes
    September 12, 2012 at 11:06 am (7 years ago)

    This is just beautiful, Isabelle! You’re right, life’s precious moments need to be cherished and embraced.

    Reply
  2. Colleen
    September 12, 2012 at 11:38 am (7 years ago)

    Oh my goodness Isabelle…what a beautiful post. I can feel through your words the deep love that you shared with your Mom..I love you sweet friend and I know how much your heart aches for your Mom…
    xoxo

    Reply
  3. Andrea Ellison Photography
    September 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm (7 years ago)

    Your post brought home to me just how important what we do is…I too treasure the few photographs I have ….they are the glue that string all my memories together xxx beautiful post x

    Reply
  4. Boo
    September 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm (7 years ago)

    Oh Isabelle, I’m having a little weep here 🙁 xxxxx

    Reply
  5. Elena
    September 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm (7 years ago)

    I’m literally in tears. I’m sure, though, that even though memory can sometimes fail us, our heart doesn’t – you may have forgotten single episodes of your childhood, happy moments, funny things… but the love you feel for your mother, the connection you still have with her, is never to leave you.
    Hugs my friend xoxo

    Reply
  6. Kristi
    September 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm (7 years ago)

    This is so poetic and beautiful! You have such a way with words! I love every bit of it. When I imagine my ideal way of writing I believe it will sound like what you have written. I have the words in my head but, I struggle so greatly getting them to come out right. I do hope that I will someday possess this skill/talent. Thank you Isabelle.

    xoxo,
    Kristi

    Reply
  7. Kate
    September 13, 2012 at 3:49 am (7 years ago)

    Oh dear. Tears here and lots of them. I, too, know what it’s like to lose a mother and even after 14 years it is hard. Sad. A feeling of loss that is always there.

    Yours words are beautiful. Your images, divine. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  8. Aziza
    September 14, 2012 at 7:02 am (7 years ago)

    Oh Isabelle:( this made me cry, I’m the memory keeper in my family and I keep all my moms photos, believe me she is still there inside you like before and even stronger when you take a look at all the pictures it’s like they come alive! pictures are not only pictures, even though I don’t know my mom I feel like I know her very well from her pictures… it’s all in there and it adds up to what’s inside you each time you take a look at them. thank you dear for sharing this part of your life, I’m sure writing this wasn’t easy on you xx

    Reply
  9. Kay Maguire
    September 16, 2012 at 9:29 am (7 years ago)

    Such a beautiful but sad post. Memories are treasures of the heart and photos help us capture them to remember forever (even when the mind fails the photos are there to help us). My thoughts are with you on your loss but thank you for sharing such a wonderful post with us xoxo

    Reply
  10. Lisa RedWillow
    October 4, 2012 at 12:24 am (7 years ago)

    Just when I thought it safe to enter your blog all the memories I have have risen to the surface only to be faced once more.with love and tears of my own Mom whom I lost and yet still hang onto in so many ways , each one so tight Im scared they will slip away. Wonderful post with so many beautiful memories.

    xoxo

    Reply

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